Tuesday, May 27, 2008

it just makes your heart swell

the above is something my mom said to me as a way of describing a memorial day ceremony/service she went to today with my dad. i wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying directly after because the words, "make your heart swell" made my head kind of blur for a second.

i've been doing this a lot lately. i don't know if it's my mind's way of telling me that i have 6 months left to live, or if i'm just so completely lost that i'm trying to find a way out, but everything has taken on this new sort of aesthetic meaning for me. i guess, to speak as simply as my mom, it all just makes my heart swell.

i read the book into the wild this week after watching the movie with friends. i had read it before in 9th grade, but remember scarcely anything from it other than feeling disturbed after it was over. in addition to making me miss the mountains and climbing probably a hundred times more than i already did, it made me remember why i appreciate books so god dammed much. to be able to read something and allow it to seep into your mind so completely that you just stop and stare at the words is a feeling unlike any other. i can't really describe it.

this weekend was a lot of fun. it's nice to be in the company of people who really love you for who you are (even if they do spend 90 percent of the time making fun of you).
highlights:
-on average, mike will make a reference to some type of "male private part" at least 20 times every hour.
- power hour is fun, especially when you spew beer out of your mouth and across the kitchen.
-the only appropriate response to anything is to either flick someone off, or make hand gestures that look like jerking off.
-driving next to the ocean with windswept hair, listening to music with friends. good music.


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