this morning is going by so slowly.
not looking forward to the drive to dallas.
will be nice to see my family though.
and watch the parade.
and eat chex mix.
and get muh hair done.
oh please, like you've never goofed up.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
hey good one, witch
"she was, she thought, an idealist. she believed in true love. she was always looking for the field without thorns. she believed in pure things, like loyalty. if someone was a true friend, it really moved her. she was a dreamer. she was always searching for that true white love."
i like this quote a lot. sort of addicted to quotes. it's from the ethnography i've been reading for one of my classes. i feel like i can identify with it, or at least some of it. not so much the part about love, but maybe one day that will change. it's surprising how much people can change. speaking of, got my new driver's license in the mail yesterday, and i look so different than i did 6 years ago, which is probably a good thing.
good weekend for the most part (item #1 on to do list: learn to politely or not so politely turn down men who approach me in bars or pizza joints). i enjoy my friends; hopefully they enjoy me too. reminded me of some great nights over the last few years.

had a good conversation with mom today. it's our sunday usual. looks like i may be taking a different direction in life pretty soon. i'll fill you in when i know for sure. i think this one needs some time first.
i like this quote a lot. sort of addicted to quotes. it's from the ethnography i've been reading for one of my classes. i feel like i can identify with it, or at least some of it. not so much the part about love, but maybe one day that will change. it's surprising how much people can change. speaking of, got my new driver's license in the mail yesterday, and i look so different than i did 6 years ago, which is probably a good thing.
good weekend for the most part (item #1 on to do list: learn to politely or not so politely turn down men who approach me in bars or pizza joints). i enjoy my friends; hopefully they enjoy me too. reminded me of some great nights over the last few years.

had a good conversation with mom today. it's our sunday usual. looks like i may be taking a different direction in life pretty soon. i'll fill you in when i know for sure. i think this one needs some time first.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
this is what i could have said
if i was much smarter.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/27652443#27652443
Finally tonight as promised, a Special Comment on the passage, last week, of Proposition Eight in California, which rescinded the right of same-sex couples to marry, and tilted the balance on this issue, from coast to coast.
Some parameters, as preface. This isn't about yelling, and this isn't about politics, and this isn't really just about Prop-8. And I don't have a personal investment in this: I'm not gay, I had to strain to think of one member of even my very extended family who is, I have no personal stories of close friends or colleagues fighting the prejudice that still pervades their lives.
And yet to me this vote is horrible. Horrible. Because this isn't about yelling, and this isn't about politics.
This is about the... human heart, and if that sounds corny, so be it.
If you voted for this Proposition or support those who did or the sentiment they expressed, I have some questions, because, truly, I do not... understand. Why does this matter to you? What is it to you? In a time of impermanence and fly-by-night relationships, these people over here want the same chance at permanence and happiness that is your option. They don't want to deny you yours. They don't want to take anything away from you. They want what you want -- a chance to be a little less alone in the world.
Only now you are saying to them -- no. You can't have it on these terms. Maybe something similar. If they behave. If they don't cause too much trouble. You'll even give them all the same legal rights -- even as you're taking away the legal right, which they already had. A world around them, still anchored in love and marriage, and you are saying, no, you can't marry. What if somebody passed a law that said you couldn't marry?
I keep hearing this term "re-defining" marriage.
If this country hadn't re-defined marriage, black people still couldn't marry white people. Sixteen states had laws on the books which made that illegal... in 1967. 1967.
The parents of the President-Elect of the United States couldn't have married in nearly one third of the states of the country their son grew up to lead. But it's worse than that. If this country had not "re-defined" marriage, some black people still couldn't marry...black people. It is one of the most overlooked and cruelest parts of our sad story of slavery. Marriages were not legally recognized, if the people were slaves. Since slaves were property, they could not legally be husband and wife, or mother and child. Their marriage vows were different: not "Until Death, Do You Part," but "Until Death or Distance, Do You Part." Marriages among slaves were not legally recognized.
You know, just like marriages today in California are not legally recognized, if the people are... gay.
And uncountable in our history are the number of men and women, forced by society into marrying the opposite sex, in sham marriages, or marriages of convenience, or just marriages of not knowing -- centuries of men and women who have lived their lives in shame and unhappiness, and who have, through a lie to themselves or others, broken countless other lives, of spouses and children... All because we said a man couldn't marry another man, or a woman couldn't marry another woman. The sanctity of marriage. How many marriages like that have there been and how on earth do they increase the "sanctity" of marriage rather than render the term, meaningless?
What is this, to you? Nobody is asking you to embrace their expression of love. But don't you, as human beings, have to embrace... that love? The world is barren enough.
It is stacked against love, and against hope, and against those very few and precious emotions that enable us to go forward. Your marriage only stands a 50-50 chance of lasting, no matter how much you feel and how hard you work.
And here are people overjoyed at the prospect of just that chance, and that work, just for the hope of having that feeling. With so much hate in the world, with so much meaningless division, and people pitted against people for no good reason, this is what your religion tells you to do? With your experience of life and this world and all its sadnesses, this is what your conscience tells you to do?
With your knowledge that life, with endless vigor, seems to tilt the playing field on which we all live, in favor of unhappiness and hate... this is what your heart tells you to do? You want to sanctify marriage? You want to honor your God and the universal love you believe he represents? Then Spread happiness -- this tiny, symbolic, semantical grain of happiness -- share it with all those who seek it. Quote me anything from your religious leader or book of choice telling you to stand against this. And then tell me how you can believe both that statement and another statement, another one which reads only "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
---
You are asked now, by your country, and perhaps by your creator, to stand on one side or another. You are asked now to stand, not on a question of politics, not on a question of religion, not on a question of gay or straight. You are asked now to stand, on a question of...love. All you need do is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate. You don't have to help it, you don't have it applaud it, you don't have to fight for it. Just don't put it out. Just don't extinguish it. Because while it may at first look like that love is between two people you don't know and you don't understand and maybe you don't even want to know...It is, in fact, the ember of your love, for your fellow **person...
Just because this is the only world we have. And the other guy counts, too.
This is the second time in ten days I find myself concluding by turning to, of all things, the closing plea for mercy by Clarence Darrow in a murder trial.
But what he said, fits what is really at the heart of this:
"I was reading last night of the aspiration of the old Persian poet, Omar-Khayyam," he told the judge.
"It appealed to me as the highest that I can vision. I wish it was in my heart, and I wish it was in the hearts of all:
"So I be written in the Book of Love;
"I do not care about that Book above.
"Erase my name, or write it as you will,
"So I be written in the Book of Love."
---
Good night, and good luck.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/27652443#27652443
Finally tonight as promised, a Special Comment on the passage, last week, of Proposition Eight in California, which rescinded the right of same-sex couples to marry, and tilted the balance on this issue, from coast to coast.
Some parameters, as preface. This isn't about yelling, and this isn't about politics, and this isn't really just about Prop-8. And I don't have a personal investment in this: I'm not gay, I had to strain to think of one member of even my very extended family who is, I have no personal stories of close friends or colleagues fighting the prejudice that still pervades their lives.
And yet to me this vote is horrible. Horrible. Because this isn't about yelling, and this isn't about politics.
This is about the... human heart, and if that sounds corny, so be it.
If you voted for this Proposition or support those who did or the sentiment they expressed, I have some questions, because, truly, I do not... understand. Why does this matter to you? What is it to you? In a time of impermanence and fly-by-night relationships, these people over here want the same chance at permanence and happiness that is your option. They don't want to deny you yours. They don't want to take anything away from you. They want what you want -- a chance to be a little less alone in the world.
Only now you are saying to them -- no. You can't have it on these terms. Maybe something similar. If they behave. If they don't cause too much trouble. You'll even give them all the same legal rights -- even as you're taking away the legal right, which they already had. A world around them, still anchored in love and marriage, and you are saying, no, you can't marry. What if somebody passed a law that said you couldn't marry?
I keep hearing this term "re-defining" marriage.
If this country hadn't re-defined marriage, black people still couldn't marry white people. Sixteen states had laws on the books which made that illegal... in 1967. 1967.
The parents of the President-Elect of the United States couldn't have married in nearly one third of the states of the country their son grew up to lead. But it's worse than that. If this country had not "re-defined" marriage, some black people still couldn't marry...black people. It is one of the most overlooked and cruelest parts of our sad story of slavery. Marriages were not legally recognized, if the people were slaves. Since slaves were property, they could not legally be husband and wife, or mother and child. Their marriage vows were different: not "Until Death, Do You Part," but "Until Death or Distance, Do You Part." Marriages among slaves were not legally recognized.
You know, just like marriages today in California are not legally recognized, if the people are... gay.
And uncountable in our history are the number of men and women, forced by society into marrying the opposite sex, in sham marriages, or marriages of convenience, or just marriages of not knowing -- centuries of men and women who have lived their lives in shame and unhappiness, and who have, through a lie to themselves or others, broken countless other lives, of spouses and children... All because we said a man couldn't marry another man, or a woman couldn't marry another woman. The sanctity of marriage. How many marriages like that have there been and how on earth do they increase the "sanctity" of marriage rather than render the term, meaningless?
What is this, to you? Nobody is asking you to embrace their expression of love. But don't you, as human beings, have to embrace... that love? The world is barren enough.
It is stacked against love, and against hope, and against those very few and precious emotions that enable us to go forward. Your marriage only stands a 50-50 chance of lasting, no matter how much you feel and how hard you work.
And here are people overjoyed at the prospect of just that chance, and that work, just for the hope of having that feeling. With so much hate in the world, with so much meaningless division, and people pitted against people for no good reason, this is what your religion tells you to do? With your experience of life and this world and all its sadnesses, this is what your conscience tells you to do?
With your knowledge that life, with endless vigor, seems to tilt the playing field on which we all live, in favor of unhappiness and hate... this is what your heart tells you to do? You want to sanctify marriage? You want to honor your God and the universal love you believe he represents? Then Spread happiness -- this tiny, symbolic, semantical grain of happiness -- share it with all those who seek it. Quote me anything from your religious leader or book of choice telling you to stand against this. And then tell me how you can believe both that statement and another statement, another one which reads only "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
---
You are asked now, by your country, and perhaps by your creator, to stand on one side or another. You are asked now to stand, not on a question of politics, not on a question of religion, not on a question of gay or straight. You are asked now to stand, on a question of...love. All you need do is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate. You don't have to help it, you don't have it applaud it, you don't have to fight for it. Just don't put it out. Just don't extinguish it. Because while it may at first look like that love is between two people you don't know and you don't understand and maybe you don't even want to know...It is, in fact, the ember of your love, for your fellow **person...
Just because this is the only world we have. And the other guy counts, too.
This is the second time in ten days I find myself concluding by turning to, of all things, the closing plea for mercy by Clarence Darrow in a murder trial.
But what he said, fits what is really at the heart of this:
"I was reading last night of the aspiration of the old Persian poet, Omar-Khayyam," he told the judge.
"It appealed to me as the highest that I can vision. I wish it was in my heart, and I wish it was in the hearts of all:
"So I be written in the Book of Love;
"I do not care about that Book above.
"Erase my name, or write it as you will,
"So I be written in the Book of Love."
---
Good night, and good luck.
Monday, November 10, 2008
so proud to be
a born-again houstonian.
and another monday comes rollin' around. if i get through today unscathed it will be a miracle. should-be lethal levels of alcohol consumption made me not exactly productive over the weekend. dammit. again. just throwing away brain cells like confetti...la la la.
can't wait for of montreal on wednesday. geezusholyshitsofuckingexciteddaaayuuum.
and another monday comes rollin' around. if i get through today unscathed it will be a miracle. should-be lethal levels of alcohol consumption made me not exactly productive over the weekend. dammit. again. just throwing away brain cells like confetti...la la la.
can't wait for of montreal on wednesday. geezusholyshitsofuckingexciteddaaayuuum.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
hypocrite, opportunist
i've been seeing a lot of information put out there regarding proposition 8, which is being voted on today in california. it makes me a little jealous that we don't have something like that going on in tejas, but let's be realistic, i don't think rick perry and the majority of texans could handle that just yet. **
reading the way people my age are arguing either for or against (mostly against) prop. 8 is something particularly interesting to me because of how closely they're comparing it to discrimination, equating its level of absurdity to segregation and universal suffrage. it is discrimination. it IS. thinking back to what i was taught in church and bible study and on countless retreats really unsettles me these days. it's not rational. it's not reasonable.
i feel like the most important thing to keep in mind is that this is a decision that should be kept entirely separate from one's personal religious beliefs. it is not up to the government to superimpose an arbitrary moral code for the whole country; leave that up to your local church or synagogue or mosque or whatever spiritual beliefs or non-beliefs you choose to align yourself with. and further, keep that as far away from the domain of politics as possible. the separation of church and state is one of the things i feel the most strongly about, and i would be hard-pressed to find anyone who could offer any legitimate reason to pass any measure similar to prop. 8 that goes outside of religious beliefs.
anyways, it got me thinking about some things, and i'm really curious to talk to people who were around during the segregation of schools. people who were not just alive, but remember it, were embedded in it, who had discussions about it. i know i've asked my mom about it before, and she said she was too young to really remember and was living mostly out of the u.s. when she was that age, but what about my grandparents?
it's weird to think of someone like my grandfather, someone i have always looked up to and admired as one of the most intelligent human beings you could come across, as being pro segregation. surely no, right? well, i've never asked. i guess i'm kind of scared to hear what he would say, but the point is that even the smartest people fall victim to patterns of ignorance, because that's all they've ever known.
i just hope our generation can do something to change that. it might take some time, but at least there are a lot of us out there trying. right?
VOTE TODAY!
**or maybe i'm dumb and don't pay attention to what's going on in the world? did texas already ban gay marriage?
reading the way people my age are arguing either for or against (mostly against) prop. 8 is something particularly interesting to me because of how closely they're comparing it to discrimination, equating its level of absurdity to segregation and universal suffrage. it is discrimination. it IS. thinking back to what i was taught in church and bible study and on countless retreats really unsettles me these days. it's not rational. it's not reasonable.
i feel like the most important thing to keep in mind is that this is a decision that should be kept entirely separate from one's personal religious beliefs. it is not up to the government to superimpose an arbitrary moral code for the whole country; leave that up to your local church or synagogue or mosque or whatever spiritual beliefs or non-beliefs you choose to align yourself with. and further, keep that as far away from the domain of politics as possible. the separation of church and state is one of the things i feel the most strongly about, and i would be hard-pressed to find anyone who could offer any legitimate reason to pass any measure similar to prop. 8 that goes outside of religious beliefs.
anyways, it got me thinking about some things, and i'm really curious to talk to people who were around during the segregation of schools. people who were not just alive, but remember it, were embedded in it, who had discussions about it. i know i've asked my mom about it before, and she said she was too young to really remember and was living mostly out of the u.s. when she was that age, but what about my grandparents?
it's weird to think of someone like my grandfather, someone i have always looked up to and admired as one of the most intelligent human beings you could come across, as being pro segregation. surely no, right? well, i've never asked. i guess i'm kind of scared to hear what he would say, but the point is that even the smartest people fall victim to patterns of ignorance, because that's all they've ever known.
i just hope our generation can do something to change that. it might take some time, but at least there are a lot of us out there trying. right?
VOTE TODAY!
**or maybe i'm dumb and don't pay attention to what's going on in the world? did texas already ban gay marriage?
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