dig for fire

"There is a story about the Greek Gods; they were bored so they invented human beings, but they were still bored so they invented love, then they weren't bored any longer. So they decided to try love for themselves. And finally, they invented laughter, so they could stand it."

just watched feast of love for probably the third time this month. it was an unlikely movie for me to stumble upon, but my roommate bought it on a whim, without having seen it or heard anything about it before, and i think it impacted me more than either of us expected.

it's not necessarily the best movie ever made. and i don't expect everyone to feel the same way about it that i do, but it's worth watching if you have a free night and are near blockbuster. who knows, it might become one of your favorites too. plus, morgan freeman turns everything he touches to gold in my opinion.

despite everything, i feel less cynical. any movie that can accomplish that did something right.

clap clap clap

oh i am a silly girl. with silly fears and silly dreams.

everything can go horribly wrong at any given moment. but, everything can also go terrifically well the very next day. you just have to wait for it.

happy 4th of july friends.

the better story

it's been a long time coming, but i finally finished reading Life of Pi. there have been many books that i try to read and just never really get into, but i was determined to finish this one in particular because i know so many people who couldn't praise it enough. i think i picked it up to start reading it over a year ago, maybe two, and have since then routinely set it aside whenever i found something more appealing (or shamefully re-read yet another harry potter). it was tough to get through. there were some parts that dragged on and others that were just not fun to read. but i finished it, and i'm glad that i did.

"Richard Parker has stayed with me. I've never forgotten him. Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart. I still cannot understand how he could abandon me so unceremoniously, without any sort of goodbye, without looking back once. That pain is like an axe that chops at my heart."

"I can well imagine an atheist's last word: "White, white! L-L-Love! My God!"--and the deathbed leap of faith. Whereas the agnostic, if he stays true to his reasonable self, if he stays beholden to dry, yeastless factuality, might try to explain the warm light bathing him by saying, "Possibly a f-f-failing oxygenation of the b-b-brain," and, to the very end, lack imagination and miss the better story." **

one of the reasons I like summertime so much is because I somehow manage to do quite a bit more reading. books are nice. they're my refuge as of late. any suggestions for what to dive into next?

**as i was typing this i realized even more how everything in this book is connected or related. it all comes full circle. or something. i guess i approve of the book even more than i thought 15 minutes ago. read it. :)

but at least i author my own disaster

i don't know which is worse: having someone else do something that is very hurtful or you yourself doing something that has consequences (in other words, disappointing yourself)?

i guess neither is fun. but it's something i've been contemplating....rock.bottom.

houston doesn't really look the same when you're trying to be responsible about things. i'm pretty sure every time i've been before it was for reasons completely on the other end of the spectrum from anything resembling responsibility.

i had a really good time hangin' out with say-RUH though. i think i'm going to use some of my "summer vacation" (i can put a positive spin on bad things sometimes too) to go visit her in stillwater. haven't been to oklahoma in years. she'll be working, but i don't think i'll have a problem spending a week reading in a coffee shop. hell, maybe i won't come back?


pleaselettheduplexbeawesomesowecanlive20ftfrombrasils :)

do you think houston will be this fun?

home sweet home

"At times, home is nowhere. At times, one knows only extreme estrangement and alienation. Then home is no longer just one place. It is locations. Home is that place which enables and promotes varied and ever-changing perspectives, a place where one discovers new ways of seeing reality." -bell hooks

i like that. a lot. i think i've been waiting for it. it's nice to find good quotes that do a better job of explaining how you feel than yourself.

i've become homesick for a place i haven't considered to be my home in over two years. i think it's because i subconsciously know that i'm about to move further away. and as much as i might try to pretend to be "above" or past dallas, i still love a lot of things about that city. and i guess i kind of love my family too. things have been going well in that department. it happens every few years. hah.

everyone from the law firm keeps asking me what i'm gonna do until i start graduate school. GO TO EUROPE! GO TO SOUTH AMERICA! GO TO ALASKA! they keep telling me. go live freely. use your credit card and worry about the costs later. you won't regret it! they keep saying.

is this all a big fucking joke?

the reality of things is starting to set in....

...annnd i'm afraid.

stopstopstopstop

today sucked. everything about it sucked. which blows because i had such a good weekend.

won $120 from a scratch-off my dad made me buy.
lovely dinner/symphony date with ana (the true dallas socialite).
land mines with diane and friends.
sex and the city movie (again)
SEEESTER CAME HOME.
Rilo Kiley with seeester.
Got to meet THAO

(ok, the last one is not true, but we were standing right next to her and the respective get down stay down. sarah and i decided we have girl crushes on both thao and jenny lewis. this conversation made me happy).


oh, and this guy is ridiculous. in a good way. sarah is going to marry him. somehow. can't wait for him to meet my gramma.